Thursday, January 31, 2008
TAURUS -
The TrampAggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!
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4:26 PM
4:26 PM
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
NVM. i give up. i'll nv be able to understand ani tin from all the pieces of paper which i hav infront of mi. O. okay rite now ish the com not the paper. ani way. I wont be able to do so. SQC sounds like an exam to mi. But till tml will i noe if i m one of the choosen one. Cross my finger n hope not mi.
Blog hopped around. I miss some links coz tat person closed his blog which make mi unable to link to others blog. I miss the wongs in tat few blog n the happiness n knowledge tat i would be able to find. o well. my loss.
But mummi post light up my smile. Thanks alot mummi. I hav been feeling realli down. maybe down becoz of my stupidness. Down becoz of my low knowledge. down becoz of too much questionmark. I dun like not knowing where m i heading. I'm growing up yet alot of timgs. I still feel like a child. Not noeing where to go wad to do at all. aiz. Apart from tat i m working. I see no grow up in mi. thanks alot mummi for filling up my questions mark. For always teaching mi n guiding mi. n some time even protecting mi. Thanks alot. i noe u r there for mi when i nid u to.
Talk abt ur post. shopping. yes i haven buy ani tops yet. n i too went shopping alone. Todae. >.< but however due to limited time i m unable to realli shop. Juz hav a short walk before i actualli head to work. afterwork i usualli will be dame tired to actualli shop. Some more i nid to save money. In nid of money. not realli but not rich despite i juz got paid not long ago. preparing for some happening. i hope. hungry hungry. hahas. sorri suddenly feel so. hahas.
hopped to fishii blog. saw her finish her entries n straight go read. I knew it. I knew all tis. I told her before tat she would sure miss her. N tat she ish sad abt all tis but she said no she wont. =P i noe u well enuf. U r human too. we r all human. like wad i said, juz the way we both handle tings. we will keep silent but we noe we r sad. we noe we r hurt. onli ting ish tat when u angry u will show. when i angry i still keep silent. hahas. tat's mi lo ^^.
late le. i shell keep my sqc in bag n bring to work agn tml. ne. sleep well. good nite to all. love love. =) mush love mummi (= love love. Muackz
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11:40 PM
11:40 PM
When u notice tat my blog ish starting to get fill up. you should hav guess. wad ish happening to her. hahas. ya. tis few weeks. i started to feel more n more down. I hav no idea wad ish happening to mi. juz feel like going down the slope. could it be due to stress. CNY ish coming. n i hav to work one of the dae double shift. I unnoe wad to aspect from the crowed. I hav no idea how will it be like. Hahas. yes i m tat kind tat start to worri before the tings actualli took place. Coz by tat time it take place. i hav already settle my emotion to work hard. hahas. juz like exam. I will worri 1 week before hand. Than when it is time for the paper i m prepared to face it wif a smile. Tis ish mi. hahas.
recalling. my godma said abt mi. she said tat i m a impatience gal. humm. to tink abt tat, i answer her wif a yes. i m impatience. hahas. But i juz cant help it. U r dueling wif my stomach. Mind u a Hungry man ish an angry man. So is a gal. cant help it when i m hungry u noe. hahas. humm. but i m not tat patience afterall. well u mus see. I m always being rush by my client. do u tink i can be patience?
To the concer of my heart there ish some tin stuck there for mi to feel scare abt n not noeing wad to aspect. I noe sooner or later tis will hav to come. But i juz feel tat i m not ready at tis point of time. But to tink abt it. I will nv be ready. It osh not the age tat counts. I tink it ish more of the heart n mind preparation. Tat actualli ish going thru. why m i so navie. gosh.
i guess wad i lack of ish knowledge. Alot of tings will go question mark in my brain. aiz aiz.
Mush =( i dun like it at all. Bless all.
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11:00 AM
11:00 AM
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I oso dunnoe wad should be done to my current condition. i m neither here nor there. or either here or there. Actualli i oso hav no idea wad i wan to do. i wan to help but i oso dunnoe how to help. seem like i onli can stand here n look at how tings goes. actualli ish not realli to my problem. but i juz cant help it.
i'm so looking forward to going alan house for dinner ^^ ish the first time tat we r gathering at his place. But than there r oso alot of ppl tat i hav not yet meet before. it feel so funni. idk. coz i m not veri sociable. But wif comfortable frens around u. it tends to feel okay ^^. mummi kor kor n fishii will be wif mi. so no worri's i guess.
currently: sleepy. tis few daes had not been getting alot of sleep. lols. dunnoe wad i hav been doing. feel like sleeping. but yet feel abit of a waste of time sia. guai guai de. relationship hasnt been tat good. ups n down the hill. at a point it was wonderful. Than it start going down. Than down down down. i mus said the way i handle tings ish not tat excellent. not even to reach good. Rite. my relationship points to all type. be it family frens works n love. Gosh i m nv good at it. The best relationship i hav. i tink ish myself. lols. i nv able to balance to make everione happi. But i can cAuse everi one sad all at the same time. >.< suck sia. i dun like it tis way.
Maybe due to both side busy, ern i m not busy u noe. But ended up i feel like the ship ish getting futher away from the land. i dun wan to be like tat. but i oso dun understand myself well enuf to look n handle the tings correctly. i cant lost ani of my ships. But yet. I cant hold them all close to mi. aiz aiz.
No idea wad i should do. =( sad case.
Mush alone. Tis eeling has been for some time. Doesnt seem able to get in touch wif ani one Facing a ET sitting beside mi. we hav different wave length. one dae i will get elec.cue. ehh.
aiz. bless all.
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11:51 PM
11:51 PM
Thursday, January 24, 2008
wad did i do to desever tat word? "Coz i hate You" In my mind. I keep on questioning myself. wad did i do? n the best ting was. i will nv be able to get the answer. coz no matter how i ask tat person. Tat person juz wont tell mi. hell how m i to explain myself? or should i juz keep silent. but i cant bring myself to be hate by some one. If there ish ani misunderstanding or ani tin. let mi at least hav the chance to fight for myself. But than in another case. Maybe it doesnt realli matter. why do i mind so much since u dun care. aiz wad to do. didnt noe wad happening n all i get ish tis word " i hate you"
i always thot tat tis words would be veri hurtful. In some case yes it ish. when u realli mind abt tat person or the person u love n u concer said tis words to u. But in other case it juz cant be help how the way other ppl tink abt u. Tis words "i hate you" i dun said tis out easily. n let mi tink. I dun rmb ani one said tis words to mi before. coz i m always a nobody. N todae i was shock to see such words said to mi. Gosh. i realli dunnoe how to react. I wan to scold. but than n agn i tink. isst wad i did? which idk. till now. keep on tinking. reason??
Todae wasnt a bad dae apart from tat ting above. I hav had a good time. playing. eating. chatting. or wad so ever. if ani one of u noe wad happen. which i swear i didnt do ani tin wrong. pls tell mi. wad ish the reason tat make ppl "Hate" mi? humm. if u hate mi too. tell mi. at least i noe. If it ish my problem. or my fault.
Mush in doubt?? =(
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12:17 AM
12:17 AM
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Holding a basketball on my hand. Yet not knowing wad to do. The feeling of throwing it n playing wif it. seem to hav decrease from juz now. Sooner or later i tink i gonna go bath n put the ball back.
Juz now suddenly hav the craving to play. Yet slowly the feeling started to decrease when time goes by. Looking at the ball. throwing it up n down. Than it all surface up. My pass. I will nv forget. the past tat grow wif mi. the past tat nv leave mi. The past tat haunt mi. My past memories. I seal it wif basketball. Everi time i take out the ball. It all start to come bk. Ish not like wad sch champs or ani tin proud of aniway. BUt it ish a part of my growing up. apart where everi tin start n stop. my veri first understanding of mi. a route tat i can nv turn bk n i dun wish to turn bk. even if u gib mi a chance to redo everitin i dun wan to make an effort to even go bk. Juz leave the memories as it is. There r part i love. there r parts i hate. there r precious ppl in it. there r frens tat i hav not contacted. there r alot of tings n will nv be the same agn. a long road. to u. u may not be able to see wad i hav go thru. To some others. they may tink stupid. to even tink bk. But i treasure al the memories be it good or bad. I treasure the time i spent wif everione. N i treasure the memories tat i hav. it some tin tat build who i m.
ani moment from now i shell go n bath n do some tin elsa. ya. Guess i feel sleepy agn. N hell fishii ish taking a veri long time doing jap wif my little aunt. yWAns. shell i put down n go bath. i tink i shell. maybe some other daes bah. Basketball. Juz i dun hav the fate to play. it has ended. long before i noe.
MusH =(
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5:47 PM
5:47 PM
Saturday, January 19, 2008
"在一个寒冷的冬天， 一位青年正想把一颗枯树锯下来作燃火的材料。然而他的父亲看了便立刻阻止他，并对他说: "孩子，决不要在情绪坏的时候，做出重大的决定。耐心等待吧，东天会过去，春天也会再来。"
Came across tis words. Is rather true tat some time we make decision in a rush way n to benefit our suitation now. But wad tis words ish telling is tat let's not do ani decision first wait for awhile. But how long u hav to wait. some time some tings are done the faster the better. ern tings like: u found u got cancer, u shouldnt wait u should faster go get treatment lor. or erm like u n a gal/guy dated from few years. suddenly u feel tat u dun love tat guy/gal ani more. should u straight away break or should u wait?
A good question: wait to confirm ur feeling. make sure tat u realli hav no feeling ani more n let the gal/guy go so u wont feel at lost? or should u jz straight tell the gal/boi tat u got no more feeling for him/her n let her/him go n find a better gal/boi.
with the lines above i got alot more to said. n alot of unfair to said. But to tink abt it. in tis world there ish no fairness. ur boss can angry at u n show u faces but u cant angry at him n show him faces. ur mum can hit u but u cant hit bk. but to tink abt it we r all guided by our self moral. we wont go hit our parent even when they hit use rite?
i hav been typeing for the pass 1 hrs but to come n read abt it. i can't figure out wad i m tinking n writing abt. Sleep le one whole dae yet i still feel sleepy. cant figure out wad was wrong wif mi. dun tell mi 4 dae of nite shift realli tat tiring. hey dun count my sickness in. i m still strong u noe. >.< i hope so i m strong. But the above chinese words are wad i tink when i m still awake. hahas.
=( feel so down when u r tired. But i noe alot of tings ish going thru my mind. making mi so tired. i cant go sleep. coz i will get more n more tired. but can i juz sleep n dun wake up ani more? i wish to hav a long deep sleep. n rest.
mush rot=(
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11:29 AM
11:29 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tis few daes has been posting blog actively. hohoho. ask mi y. coz i hav alot of time. u see. when ppl r sleeping i m working. when ppl wake up i oso still awake. doesnt it look like i hav alot of time? hahas. ya. or maybe. i m doing less talking.
blog hop agn. due to mummi post. was trying to find out whoes post make her sad. wad ever she ish envy at. i do agree wif her. mus od the tings a oso feel evny wif. Like ppl who noes how to bake n cook. n alot alot more. shrug* wells. as a matter of facts. we both are gals. envy ish not a bad tings but ish juz different ppl will envy wif different tin. "ni kan wo hao, wo kan ni hao" but whoes better? it all depend on how u view tings.
went thru fishii post.like i asked u. ish which part of u paste a "bulli mi" words? ehh n y ppl can bulli u n i can? hump~ unfair. u r juz treating ur frens too good n showing mi all the ugly side. >.< unfair. i oso wan to bulli u. T.T always kenna bulli from u. to mi taking advantage of u ish not all close fren at all. i cant help it. juz cant hold my tongue back. Wad n idiot tat cause u to be able to sleep at 3 plus 4 am. but than n agn u always sleep at tat time when u watch anime -.- lalalas~ hahas. Frens. humm. i dunnoe wad to commen abt it. coz i do hav close fren n they r good. ern. look on the bright side lo. i'll be here nx time when u phone ring okay? ^^
random tots~ still having flu.Dx: URTI
Stay happi to all =) i'm trying my best to recover from physical n mental. last nite tonite. yes! hahas. tired ar. =( i hate nitemare. I juz hav one tis amso horrible. all the bees, ants n xiao qiang. gosh oso got crab. i realli wake up sitting up. gosh ish realli. aiz, make mi so tired =.= sleeping soon in another 30 mins if i can tahan. med sure knock mi out.hahas
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1:13 PM
1:13 PM
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Gosh. Congratz if u mus said. I'm sick. -.- n for some reason i m happi but yet unhappi abt my sickness. coz. it has been a long time since i get sick. i use to break 3 yrs record of not getting sick but. >.< maybe ish due to nite shift tat i got sick bah. aiz aiz. cant take mc coz one of the staff already took mc i n dun wish to see the other staff die alone. is not veri nice u noe =) so mah. i m on medi le. despite the fact tat i onli sick for tat few daes. erm 3rd dae bah. But i noe i will be okay when my off daes comes. hahas.
ytd was a total down to the bottom tings. aiz. mush felt so hurt. Tis ish the 2nd scar le. idk why tis happen to her but i guess she realli nid to be stronger. weakling like her shouldnt be too devoted to love. It seem to her tat love hurts. but yet alot of times she see sweet love too. she ask mi. why ish all tis happening to her. ish she hard to talk to or hard to open up. But than isst her fault tat coz all tis to happen to her? to mi, sort of. coz when some one lie to u. it mus be. u got problem tat the person dun feel like telling u or he/she ish not close to u. suggested to her tat she should try to relax on all account n tat sometime see wad the other person realli wans. look at the reason why tat person lie to u. but i cant not agree wif her tat lie realli hurt ppl.
i rmb how my mum got veri angry at us due to lying. n that ish where all the caning took place. n she will keep shout" why do u wan to lie to mi" n hit n hit. hahas. i guess tis ish the pain tat she felt. gone by the wind thos were the daes. case study time:
~nah not for todae. hahas. till when i hav a good case stady than i'll write out agn.
aiz aiz. i juz woke up not long n now sleepy agn. shell i go sleep? hahas. Nitez all. =) god bless all couples. N if u realli love tat gal pls treasure her n if u tink tat u hav found ur mr rite. Dun let him go away. Coz before u noe it love might hav juz ended round the corner.
working nites realli tiring esp when u r sick. =X i hate it. SORETHROAT~
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1:31 PM
1:31 PM
Monday, January 14, 2008
Blog hopped around juz now. visited some of the ppl blog for some updates as well as some story.
n one of the blog touches mi alot. The feeling of sweetness when i read his post. seeing how he treasure her so much. The pic they took tgt. their 1st tis tat. n how he feel in their 1 yr anni. zhen de veri veri sweet. It realli feel like wad all the gals will wan for. of coz i cant tell u wad they hav been thru. wad had happen n wad make them walk tat long. coz i dunnoe them at all. But their happiness ish still able to reach mi as i read down the line. I wish them sweet n happi always. To kent n gynn. wish u both forever love =) sweet loving couples. aiz the happi ever after.
Bt some of the tings i noe abt couples tat make mi feel even more touch by their story was how the gal keep on treasure the guy n yet wad did he do to her? ditched her away. n another cases r how the gal get tired of the guy n use him as atm. i hav such cases on hand. ms a n mr b r couple. mr b love ms a alot. mr b treat ms a super good. but however mr b do not hav alot of time to pei ms a. but whenever mr b can. he will make a trip down to find ms a n pei her. they r tgt for a few yrs le. than one dae. ms a tell mr c tat se like him. mr c was unsure. mr c NOES tat ms a got boifren but yet mr c likes ms a too. so it all started. ms a got tgt wif mr c. without mr b noeing. tink abt tis question....
- isst fair to mr b?
- wad does mr c feel when ms a n mr b r tgt?
- who ish the worst person in tis scene?
- isst fair to mr c?
- who gain the most?
dame it. I mean, why do a gal ever nid another guy when she got such a loving boyfren. I would nv do it. Gosh i would love my BF wif all my heart n nv betray him. i feel so unfair to both of the boi. n who gain most? ms a. feel so selfish of her to do so. anger. but on second tot. gal always like to get pamper. but i mean. T.T compared the both cases. a sweet loving couple n a triangle love. love wad can i said? sweet bitter n some time stupid. But i wish i'll hav a sweet love. one first love tat i would nv forget. tat last thru out my life. wish all couple be happi n dun do stupid tings. learn to treasure her/him before it ish too late. before u loss him/her. dun wait for sweetness. be sweet n hope u will oso get sweet return bah. sweet loving.
=) a story tat touch my life. u r my guild line. my inspiration. best wishes
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12:04 AM
12:04 AM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
dae 2 of not touching maple. feeling? humm. rather nth much to do de. hahas. But it doesnt realli seem to matter alot. o juz on maple to hav a look at my dear little darling milk. Than found out tat my stars has expired. o well. I guess things r slowly fading away. let mi see another 13 more daes will be erm. 23/1/08? ya than soon everi tin will be gone. 29/1/08 if i'm not wrong. Poor snowie. tis few daes juz hav to be lonely n eat air le. hahas.
Now mah. nth much to do juz slacking around. maybe going out of house a little earlier. go walk around bah. or slack till last min than rush oso not bad. hahas. working life mah. ish like tat de lor. yuan lai a single working life person ish so bored de. But hor. i tink. at least they better got close fren. ern. i oso got ar. hahas. but dun feel like disturbing them rite now.
current feeling. hum. hav to tink hao hao before i write. hahas. tis ish a open blog but no visitor. hahas. so mah it doesnt matte to mi kakaka. okay. i dunnoe wad to do. waiting for shit. so long de. sian sian you shi yi tian.
target of the dae: sleep at 10.30 pm ^^
i will do it de. ^^ so tml i wont suffer ^^ back to my oldies. my olden daes. my olden self. ^^ welcome bk ^^ ms chng.
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11:34 AM
11:34 AM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
wad the hell. I dunnoe why i m feeling tis way now. i feel so angry. feel so hot feel like scolding everione. for nth. lol. menopause. hahas. i guess there ish some of the unhappiness in mi tat i m not accepting tat cause mi to be tis way bah. let mi see when was the last time i cry? dun rmb le. there ish so much of things happening around mi. tat i m unable to catch up n unable to explain or share wif ani one.
I feel so irritated so arrhz.lol suddenly found a bruise on my hand. pain >.< well i guess i can start giving ppl answer to their question making them all unhappi wif mi or juz to tell them leave mi alone. I dunnoe u. But i guess the truth ish. I m still unsure abt my rlship. But i noe. doubting too much n i will be the one tat cause the end of it. rite? well i guess so. I should start learning how to treasure n wad to said wad not to said n oso wad to hack care n wad to care. But i realli haven been having much of the mood to do so. No ish not mood to do so. ish more of the i dun wan to nag.
- missing out classes
- sleeping late
- mapling till late nitez
ya i m unhappi abt all tis but i. i dun wan to said it out. coz i cant do ani tin abt it. Tis ish ur freedom. i dun wan to restrict it. come on we all hav a life. Tis ish all our private life. msg from u ish getting lesser too. Well i guess ur phone ish giving u more problem or tat u hav no time to msg mi due to gaming.
Topice tat we can share ish oso getting lesser. u mah game whole dae. But i realli hav no interest in ur gaming world. wad's the point of reaching to ur fren lvl. but well i guess. u r a guy n GAMES will always be there. tis juz make mi wan to cry. games. games games games. ARHz. i hate games. i shell not game for 1 week. i dun care. i will juz vanish. like the thin air. for 1 whole week. Pretend tat i m lost in some dunnoe outter space.
I wan to screm n shout to tell u tat i hate u. i wan to leave u. I wan to go. i wan to walk away. BUt i cannot. coz tis ish all not true. i dun hate u. I dun wan to let u go. But i juz wan to be alone. Juz let mi be bah.
I wont cry, i wont cry. i wont cry. i will be strong n hold back my tears. I will be good. I will stand strong. I will recover. i will always be there. i will jus keep quiet n silent my anger. I will vent eveitin on the page n stop all the pain tat i m feeling. calm down. I will tell myself. ish okay. even when no one ish wif u. u r not alone. Coz i will oso be here for u. i dunnid ani one. I hav got my best soul mate. Mi. if u realli cannot walk ani more. juz take a sit n rest. But dun gib up.
wad did i do wrong to hav all tis tat i hav been thru. wad isst tat i do? why isst mi. so isolated. so had to understand.
When was the last time i cried: 9/1/08, juz.
now i feel much better =) after being so unreasonable. one word WOMEN.
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10:08 AM
10:08 AM
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Dad touch.
My touch means as in. he touched my head n sayang mi. Tat has always been the best. how do i put tis in words? idk. but i always feel super happi when he did tat to mi. I feel the love he gib mi. The way he wan to protect his daughter. The way he love mi. seem like always a kid to him. even tot i m 20 now but to him i m always a child. n i will always long for his touch. my dad. i love you. thanks alot for everi tin.
ice cream.
ice cream ish nice but a killer. it makes u happi but yet it make u fat. gals concer mah fat lor. but than it also make gal pain. hahas. i noe gal will understand tat. Guys dunnoe? ask ur GF hahas. ani way. ice cream. I had it todae but i noe the best i had it was in ice3. i can nv forget tat. wish to go there agn. wit empty stomach. But thanks alot guo bao. for the ice cream.
Humm. Sorri ar short post. nid go play le ^^ gaming ne. love all take care pls ^^
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9:54 PM
9:54 PM
