Thursday, September 11, 2008
Alot of things ish happening at the same time. Looking out of my window. To tink abt the min when one leave fall from the tree. alot of other tin will be happen in other places. A person at the veri end of the road. A couple getting marry. An accident on the road. Brain cells millions n millions dying while i'm trying to tink wad will be happening to other ppl in the other side of the world that i dun see at all. Humm.
There ish alot of feeling in side my heart right now. messy. blur. tired. n sorrow. Sorrow ish word i seldom use. at most ish sad. But sorrow a veri powerful usage. the feeling tat juz dun go away like tat. I dunnoe wad to said. But i dunnoe wad i can do too. Sighed. knowing i nid a place to keep n hide my own feeling i turn to my blog. But in blog there r also things u cant tell. U will hav to learn to keep.
Now i feel like having a ice cold milk tea from mos burger. The one i hav ytd. music playing from the com keeps mi accompany. Not tat i nid ani one to. But ya. I some how dun wish to hav ani one at all. may be my sis bah. Juz like her sitting there playing her com would at least fills a corner of the empty room. O well my room ish not empty at all. beds coms n tables. books. N music. Humm.
Ya i m going to start my degree course soon. in nov 24 2008. Dam back to student. but not full time. Juggling wif study n work. I dun tink i hav time for relationship. for 2 yrs 3 mth. I dun wan to let relationship affect mi at all. I wan to do well for my study. Tat's my future. Ppl looks up on mi. So i hav to fight even harder dun i? now tinking i feel like getting marri later hahas. coz i tink i got alot of tings to fullfill. or should i not even get marri. hummp. hahas. tat's still veri long sia. hahas. juz out of the box. ^^
some ramdom tinking along the way of life.
In life we mus learn how to accept wad ish given to us. enjoy it first. than when it ish time to let go. Learn to let go. wif a smile. Dun keep holding on. let to be strong. Like wad i m learningg now. To be strong. N to let go in a way.
Best fren. i likee him. i realli do.=)
harn ish happi to noe dav.
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10:57 AM
10:57 AM
Friday, September 05, 2008
Now i noe. Wad i m most scare of was the ting tat i m always facing. I m always alone. Not in a the sense of realli in the room all by myself. But inner feeling. wishing to hav some one to depend on but yet most of the time ppl leave mi. slowly n one by one. Coz i m the one to chase them away rite? I will learn i will get use For the time being i will be down. I will learn to be strong to stand strong alone.
Now all i nid ish myself. Jia you.
=[Lost n dun wan to be found]=
For ur good n for my good. For us for future.
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9:20 PM
9:20 PM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Yes i m a veri messy person. a person who noe not my own heart. isst tat i dun dare to face my own world or wad. i dunnoe. I juz feel like swinging my temper. but now i found out tat i dun hab ani one for mi to throw my feelings to. enclosed.
I m lost in my own world agn. In no place can i be found. at times i wish i wont be found. at times i wish tat the one who found mi will be here for mi forever. I nid tat person to stay wif mi. I wish to be take care of. i dunnoe wad i m doing. realli. i'm tired. i m realli tired. I wish i juz wish the rite person will stay by my side. i noe i m still young. i noe i can still look around. I noe. But i'm tired of life already. if i were to live to 60 plus. I wish i can share my life line wif ppl who nid it more than i do. I will gib 10 to my mum 10 to my dad. 10 to my sis. 10 to my bro. N wish them to hav a good life. n few more yrs down the road. I'm ready to go.
God, pls take care of the ppl i loved. everi one of them. Be it the ppl i like. i love. i dislike. or even i hated. They r ppl tat thought mi to grow. To learn to be who i m. God pls let them hav a peaceful life. To be able to be wif the one they love n tat loved them. To hav a happi family n good happi ever after life.
I'm Happi Coz i noe i'm
LOVED~ thanks
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11:51 PM
11:51 PM
A choice to make. But not to make the wrong choice. I noe i hav to learn to settle my own feeling myself. I noe i cant bear to hurt ani side of them. N i truthfully said we r onli frens. Yes we r fren tat can share the common points. hav fun N go out tgt. We will be juz fren n not more than tat.
I seriously wont be able to let go of biebie. The one who spent 2 yrs long distance relationship wif mi. yes it ish true tat he cannot company mi when i needed him. Yes it ish true tat he hurt mi alot of times. but there r things we cannot over see. He ish the one tat can take my temper. The one tat can take my nonsense. The one when i rants he will listen. The one tat pamper mi. Let mi be a notti gal. Be a pamper spoilt brat. In seriously allow mi to be a rotten apple who still got ppl wan. hahas. N the best part ish. I still love him no matter wad happen. I noe i misses him. I noe when i go ani where walk ani street. The place we've been thru. I will look bk. N rmb the happi moments.
Wad drag us apart ish more of the emptiness tat i felt. Yes, i notices tat i nid some one to company mi. some one to love mi. to be by myself. to hold mi. to tell mi he love mi seriously. I like ppl take note of mi. Noe tat i m there alive beside. some one who sense tat my hands r always cold n when my hands r cold so does my whole body feel cold. i wanted not juz to hold my hand. i want to be keep close to a warm place. To be hug.
Bie having exam. Jia You in preparing n studying. Love all.
I felt Loved~ some how. By him. Thanks. I realli hav great memories. But for now. We r close fren. Frens~
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12:53 AM
12:53 AM
