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A fReeDom i Yearn For.
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I cant believe it. i was given 2 daes MC. dam. Yes i'm down wif disease. Can u believe it. I who seldom sick n always well ISH down. I cant believe it. last 2 dae of 2008 i'm down. I felt sorri for my dept. why m i down  >.<  i dun wan to but when the doc sent u home they sure hab their reason. 

Dx: HFMD
MC 2 daes. 
Symptoms: Red spots on my hand. 

Such disease usually happen in children yet such a big gal like mi got it. darn. i cant believe it. but o well wad can i do. the onli ting i guess ish not to contaminate my family member bah. humm. i wan faster recover n go bk to work. 

eiks. All others pls take care and stay far far away from harn. she nid to be isolated. =X 

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9:51 PM

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

3 more daes. 
To the end of 2008. 
3 more daes. 
To the start of 2009.
The ending of a year and the starting of another. It seems like a nv ending. Daes keeps goes on. round n round. An end and a start. 
Hoping for a better. a better next year. Than and again nv forget wad has taken place tis years and recalling how we wish for a better nx year on 2007. So did i hav a better 2008? Did u? 

I sure did ^^ although there are unhappi events but yet becoz of the unhappiness it some how spiced up my life. There ish no smooth road in life. Ups n Downs. Bumps everiway. Onli by falling down can u learn to stand up and grow from experiences. But without all the happiness u cant realli hav the courage to walk thru all the sadness. right ^^. maybe not to u but to mi it ish. Looking back at all the tings tat happen. Let mi rate it overall i will gib it a thumb up. Coz I grow-ed. And happi memories are more than sad ones. Tis year seems to be longer than other years tat i had passed. felt abit older le. moving on to nx years another yr older le. Can not longer act kid le. mus grow up le. mus mature le. 

No idea wad ish my feeling right now. looking forward or not. hahas. but next year, see how i'm going to struggle to work and study and oso to get wad i should hav got tis yr. And possible i wan to work some double shift for extra money too. HUMP~ 

 >.<  eiks. kies le. take care le. tis few daes will oso be updating my post coz ish the end of the year le. nid do closing le. hahas. nitez all. Hugs  (>.<)   

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9:40 PM

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

cursed~ survived~

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11:26 PM

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

LEMONS and SUGAR

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.
( Humm.. let see, i would hav die for alot of ppl if i where to be given a choice. O ya it said at least!)
2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.
(i'm not so sure abt tis but than i noe for my family i already hav 4, than my godparent. My frens and the one who cares abt mi. including U who are visiting and looking at tis posts of mine. Well i thank you for being part of the 15 ppl tat love mi ^^)
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to be just like you.
(i dun tink ani one would wans to be like mi. eiks.)
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.
(well. tat ish not realli true. The person tat dun like u will feel Eee when he/she actualli smile at you. How do i noe? Hey i onli human. of coz i know.)
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.
(Humm. Do u tink abt mi when u sleep?? Hahas. But i tink abt nx dae work when i sleep. Opps working freak. said tat. I hav been working hard. Call mi bumper~ bumper bee~ COLD~)
6. You mean the world to some one.
(A WORLD? U mus be joking mi. I onli a small char in a big world.)
7. You are special and unique.
(erh. i would said everi one ish. in another word, no one ish special)
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
(ern. if u dunnoe how do u noe tat they love u?? But thanks to tat stranger. STRANGER~ ish another fren of urs but u haven met yet. ish juz not the time?)
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.
(tell mi abt tat. gosh. it doesnt always work tis way. how i wish it did or it does. But wad i m, i cant affort to make a mistake. Ish ppl life i m handling.)
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you
take another look.
( and u will see tat~ ya ish true the world juz did turn their back on u?hahas. Ya and u are left there standing alone. LOL)
11. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.
( tat ish the easier sentence to said but hardest to do. u juz cant help it when such tings happen. Trust mi i noe wad the feeling of tat. ish HARD)

Hey ish should be +ve in the end it turn out to be a few of -ve here and there. O well. let see more.The below one i wont said ani more. coz i guess ish rather true to wad i would wan to hav and who like to be too.

always remember.....
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Sugar and call me over!

Good friends are like stars..
You don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.

'Whenever some one Closes One Door some one else Always Opens Another, Even Though
Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway'

I would rather have one rose and a kind word
from a friend while I'm here
than a whole truckload when I'm gone.

and last but not least, pls keep tis words in mind. i would hav said it face to face to u if i can or if i may. But i'm a veri shy gal. i dun said my feeling out to u. i'm not tat open >.< Shy la shy la. But from the bottom of my heart.

Happiness keeps You Sweet ,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Life keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only
Love keeps You Going

And to end tis post. i wan to said. Good nite sweet dream and I LOVE YOU. I mean it. Love to have u in my life. Passing and walking thru my life. Thank you! Harn ish happi to hav u and hope tat you are happi to hav harn too. it apply to everi one! and i m tink of u.

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11:21 PM

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Finalli ish xmas. A dae for giving and thanking ppl. wishing and greeting ppl. I bought 30 muffin and wrapped them 24 chocolates wrapped up and than all gone by the end of the shift. some got more stuff some juz got muffin. But it was fun n exciting to gib present away to ppl. No matter wad had happen or wad i will be doing nx still i wont hold ani hatred towards ani one todae coz it ish xmas. Time of forgib. But tat doesnt mean i didnt learn my lesson to stand on my stand and stay strong.


。 ° • 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛
。° 。 ° 。˚ ˛ • ˚ ˚ ˛
MeRRY 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •
。CHRiSTMAS 。 。° 。 ° ˛ ˚ ˛
  _Π____ 。 ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •˛ •˚
/_____/ \。˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •˛ •˚
| 田田|門| ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
Merry Christmas and a happy New Year ˚ ˚

Lisa told mi it wll be the veri last outting before we start sch. But than i cant help it. I dun wan or should i said stop being taken advantage of. it has been veri unfair to mi and i realli cannot take it ani more. Why do ppl always tink abt themselves before they start tinking abt others. And why do i hav to always help ppl tink before i tink for myself? Why do i hav to be the stupid one? tat's wad mi dad tell mi. Becoz u are stupid. Tat's why u keep help ppl tink. than wad do u get in the end? being taken for granted. Hello i m not there for u to do wadever u wan. Pls repect mi. I m a human too. from now on i m going to move back to wad i use to be. less chatting and work than home. No more fren fren no more being taken advantage of. i felt so irritated. Ren hao bu shi ge ni qi fu de. Ish so selfish. I hate it.  >.<  

Aiz. Tis few daes wasnt veri in mood. Jus noe tat xmas ish different from all the years tat i hav passed. But still i love xmas. ish so cold whole dae thru. Tml working hard. Sleepy already wish all happi xmas may u hav a good year ahead too.  Thanks bie for such a nice yet sad xmas song.


When xmas comes to town- polar express

I'm wishing on a star
And trying to believe
That even though it's far
He'll find me Christmas Eve

I guess that Santa's busy
Cause he's never come around
I think of him
When Christmas Comes to Town

The best time of the year
When everyone comes home
With all this Christmas cheer
It's hard to be alone

Putting up the Christmas tree
With friends who come around
It's so much fun
When Christmas Comes to Town

Presents for the children
Wrapped in red and green
All the things I've heard about
But never really seen

No one will be sleeping on
The night of Christmas Eve
Hoping Santa's on his way

[Repeat previous two paragraphs]

When Santa's sleigh bells ring
I listen all around
The herald angels sing
I never hear a sound

When all the dreams of children
Once lost will all be found
That's all I want
When Christmas Comes to Town

That's all I want
When Christmas Comes to Town

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12:35 AM

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Some pop up from a fren msn chat to mi suddenly appeared. And it talk abt choosing to be wif the one u love or the one tat love u. He, without waiting for my answer, answered it for mi. Choosing to be wif the one you love. But i would realli love to tell him tat for mi i want to be wif the one tat i love and the one tat love mi. I dun wan juz a one side love. I realli would like it to be a full rounded love.

Tinking abt wad has happen and the things tat had taken place. I hav a wonderful sept. But than and agn. I do hav a veri hard time. Knowing how i feels i noe i cant drag on with tis kind of suitation. Things are getting out of hand and out of place. Dragging on to someone good, i m not worth for it and already attached to one.

Bie bie and mi walked thru alot. From the first month we are tgt. How he hurt mi, how he was unsure of such relationship. How he has not put in his love his feeling for mi. To how has he start love mi. Start to put in more effort. and alot more. How much i feels hurt, how he always talk without brain. How i scolded him like a tree log. Still he ish such insensetive guy. aiz. He changed alot for mi. His patience for mi nv seems to run dry. Can i not go back to him. I cant. i hav to be wif him. Ish juz not right to let go of some one tat hav been wif mi tgt for the pass 2 years. who see mi grow. change mi and taught mi how to love. I over grow him. Maybe becoz i m a gal, i tends to be more sensetive so i grow faster. It ish true tat when we first started no one tink tat we will last long. But tis ish not fated. Tis ish hard work. wif tears and sorrow. wif happiness and bitterness. But when he ish not here than did i noe. Nth ish more impt than having him juz wif mi. Tis ish all my feeling. Ish my side. than and again. love cannot be measured. So weather how much he love mi i dunnoe. and how much other will love mi i oso wont noe. But at least i noe he does care. and i'm happi enuf.

In the end. I choose to be wif the one i love and hope he will love mi. In the end. U are right, i choose to be wif the one i love. and i hope some dae i can choose to be wif the one tat love mi. still i hope tat the person ish him. still life goes on. wif or without i hav to live on. Till than. love to mi ish still a mystery and i m still learning to love to show love and to be love. But i'm happi to said i had been loved. By you and alot of other ppl.

22/12/08- harn ish 8 mth old. and tis 21 yrs of life, harn had been loved.~ harn ish happi. harn grow. harn moved on. =)

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10:58 PM

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Suffered from heart attack ytd or isst tis morning i cant realli rmb le. Didnt noe wad to said and wad to do. I guess i realli should if i realli like tat person and realli being good for tat person. i should not let him suffer. So let go bah. 

Tings tat i tot are going on well and doing fine wasnt wad i tink it should be. I tot after 2 mth of cooling away, we can still be fren. but than now i noe u prove mi wrong. i see how much you are suffering juz being fren wif mi. I see ur point and understand ur question. Making you choose a road of suffering ish not wad i wanted. I shell not do should tings ani more. I'm sorri for keep on putting u in a grey zone. For making you tink tat we still hav chances. We hav no chances of being too tgt. You are too good for mi and i m not suitable for u. And i love him. Yes i realli do. 

Onli slept at 4 am and tis morning woke up at 8 plus darn. how can i not be panda. and best of all i still haven finish studying. dam. how am i going to pass my test. i hope they juz gib the question i noe how to answer.  >.<   My heart feels wif shiokness when i saw tis. I juz cant help it. Veins and blood. Shiok ar. ps ps. Work sickness. tat tings was CUTE~ Realli CUTE. and it touches my head. wahahaa.


Gosh late le late le. wish mi luck for my exam. Arr~ i still haven finish at all. Love all. eiks.~

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8:43 AM

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

My goodness i hav been so use to going to work everi dae and staying back after work to chit chat wif my afternoon shift staff tat when i'm not going work or at the work place i felt so not use to it. My god. resting and having off seems fun but yet i'm so not use  >.<  tis few weeks n months had been working extra hard. in work place everi dae u will get a sight of mi be it morning afternoon or night. nah not tat i m working tat hard tat doubling everidae but still, maybe ish becoz we hav onli tat small amt of staff tat's why no matter on which dae all the staff are all the same. hahas.

noe i nid some rest from work de le. shouldnt over work myself. working ish fun and being tgt wif the ppl u like and work together ish fun fun x2 hahas. But being able to hav quailty time to spent wif your love one are also veri impt. looking thru my weeks i haven been spent alot of time wif my love one. =) smile. i shell not waste time. and treasure the one i hav ^^ i love you ^^ and i always will ^^

Hugs* everione. 

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9:12 AM

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Todae was a veri busy dae. actualli it was realli okay till the ambulance came. It was a veri serious case. should not said much but Pls rest in peace. Todae ish alot of my first time. My first time to mortuary. to use the bed to fetch patient wif mummy. hahas. And others tings tat i cant said much. A good experiences for mi. =) however after tis experience i realli feel like leaving tis hospital for the benefit of myself n oso my future. Tings here at times are happening too slowly. 

Spoken wif lisa. we both feels tat we realli should leave tis place. n get more experiences out side. However. there are tings tat we grow so fond of. People here the life here and also the locum here. the time wise ish oso the best compard to other places. Now might be still too earli to tink abt it, but soon veri fast time will pass and it will reach a point to make decision. aiz aiz. i realli dunnoe. i love mummy n i love everi here there. they are all so nice n friendly. working wif them has always been ^^ wonderful. maybe except for one to 2 staff. but the rest are so good.  >.<  realli dun wan to leave them but than my future? how? aiz aiz. maybe i shouldnt tink abt tis now. i shell juz enjoy my time first ^^ rite? =)

o ya todae ellainne bought mi a sandwich ware. ^^ ish orange color de. ^^ nice nice. ish her xmas present for mi ^^ and soon i'm on my look out for xmas present for all of them. ern maybe not all but still all of them. ppl tat i'm not tat close i will get them chocolates. ppl i m close wif will get other tings ^^ shopping time. ish a season for giving ^^. Juz hope tat they will like the tings i got for them. ^^

when ppl in ur work place are friendly and nice. when you love ur job n work place. your life seem so much happier n easier to live on. I'm happi tat i actualli enter and hav such a great work place and colleagues. =) Treat ppl the way you wan them to treat you. Tis words are always veri true. O ya thanks xiao yuan for bring the photos for us, thanks ellainne for bring the photos for us. ^^ thanks aunty doris for the "butterfly" breakfast. Thanks mummy for the cakey. ^^ thanks all others tat make my dae wonderful and happi. n oso tiring. Thanks lisa for working double wif mi ^^ hahas. 

Last but not least, thanks for reading all my rants n rubbish it means tat u care abt wad's happening to mi hahas. nites everi one =) love all. *Hugs*  (>,")> <(",<)      

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11:43 PM

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Monday, December 15, 2008

If u hav the chance or time. Go listen to tis song. in english. Sore Ga, ai deshou sang by ruka. ish NICE.

LYRICS (Do not reuse these without Pat McCarthy's permission):
I see you standing close to me
You smile without a care
But even when you're here
I wander through my heart's despair

My happiness and circumstance
Can also bring me pain
I try to understand
But it feels like nothing seems to change

When fallen rain starts glistening
I'll see the rainbow shimmering
And now, you offer out your hand
And everything is clear to me

All because you're here with me,
All because you help me see,
All because the world was made for us to meet, it's destiny
I understand
There's a reason here in my heart
And maybe they call this love
Even if the sky should fall
I will never run 'cause you can see me through it all
And now I can find it it in your gentle gaze
All the meaning building up this happiness
When I turn to watch you smiling

Though words can be so comforting
I don't know what to say
I wish that I could speak
And tell you what I feel today

As days go by and seasons change,
It seems that nothing stays the same
But still, we can't regret the past
'Cause memories have all been made

Everything you said to me,
Everything that I believe
Every little thing has brought us close together, can't you see?
I understand, there's a reason here in my heart
And maybe they call this love
Doesn't matter what they say
Have a little faith, tomorrow can be found today
And tears aren't the answer 'cause we'll be okay
Take my hand and you can reach this happiness
When we walk this path together

Through the sadness
Through the sorrow
Through the teardrops, the hurt, and the pain
Take a little time, I believe you'll find our world can change
I think that's why they call it love

All because you're here with me,
All because you help me see,
All because the world was made for us to meet, it's destiny
I understand
There's a reason here in my heart
And maybe they call this love
Even if the sky should fall
I will never run 'cause you can see me through it all
And now I can find it it in your gentle gaze
All the meaning building up this happiness
When I turn to watch you smiling

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12:18 PM

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

It was a super rush ting. Working afternoon shift than wait for the night shift ppl to come n take over ur shift. ish oso a veri tiring ting for the night shift ppl as they all hav to start earlier n they dun end eariler u noe. aiz aiz.

D&D was okay i would said. Took alot of pics. but still i look ugly. Fiona help mi to put some color on my face. i guess it was a mus to hav some color draw on. felt like art paper. Like the way i color my dango when i draw they on my drawing paper. Ai yo. I nv did make up before so it was a " I DUNNOE HOW TO DO" tingy.

wanted to put some photos up. but i'm too ugly to be on. But than and again. who cares. ish my blog. hahas. ish too much to be put up. so i shell choose some of them to put up. ern. It was mummi(stasia) first time to D&D ^^ yeah. so manage to take some pics wif her ^^ happi happi. apart from tat sisnt hav much chances to take wif aunty doris n all. =( Jus a few pics to share coz ish realli too much to put all up. =) Lets start wif a group pic ^^

Left to right ( shawn, angela, mi^^,fiona,stasia,ellinna,elizabeth)

Left to right (mi^^, yan yuan,stasia,fiona,beth n pat)

^^ tis ish the best ^^ i like tis pic alot. seldom got the chance to take pic wif shawn shawn haha ^^. fiona was saying like having 2 wife. haha.
Than was mi n ellinna. She ish realli a pretty fairy ehh. hahas. ^^
Than the 3 gals. The middle one ish yan yuan. Dr yam's daughter. ^^ She ish SUPER cute n PRETTY. believe it ^^ o... i like her ^^

Nth much was left to share. Tml still nid to wake up earli in the morning to go for work n my strawberri milk tea tat mummi had bought for mi ish still in the dept. darn. O let mi show u my pet pet for tis D&D. ^^ my new hair clip. Cute mah? yes ish a rabbit ^^ hahas. >.< tired le. i shell go sleep le.
Hope all has enjoyed their dae like i did. And thank you veri much for the nite team for making n effort to come earlier to take over our shift. wad else? ern nth le. Love all ^^ n god bless. sleep well. Harn ish sleepy ~ ZzZZZZzzZZ~ com off. lights off.

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12:34 AM

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Lehbit ^^ love love. cute rite ^^ i dunnoe. i jus feel veri veri happi to see it n i like it alot alot. hahas.

Aiz aiz. there are tings i feel like doing but i cant do it. there are ppl i feel like caring but i cant care for them. There are words i feel like saying but i cant express it out nor can i said it out. How i wish i can juz said it out do the tings i feel like doing n alot more others.

todae was okay wif work. darn but i got back aches todae. guess i m realli old le. Believe it or not. >.< >.< no~ i dun wan T.T cries. o dear. i still got a bit of xmas shopping to do before xmas. n ern. good news? got got. i'm working p shift on xmas eve n DOUBLE on xmas day. Shiok? tinking to work double on boxing dae a not. maybe i will take. still tinking since ish an a shift. humm. should i ? ~(-.-)~ ~(-.-)~ hola hola dance. hahas. crazy!

eyes closing le. darn. wad ish tis. blur~ blur. -.- good nite everi one. love all le. god bless. o ya. one more tin. Harn ish more stronger le. coz she learn to hold bk her tears more le. no tears. no more. ^^

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11:49 PM

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Feel alot more recharged after my day off and a late wakey tis morning. long time nv afternoon shift le. tings are still like tat.

and i will still be like tat. so ish like tat lor. no changes no move no action no special no effect no. nthing at all. mi ish still mi.

holidae coming. earli wishes to everi one. christmas ish to spend wif the one u love. so i hope tat all mothers can spend wif their children. i dun mind working on tat dae. ^^ coz i noe how little child love to hav time wif their mum. i was onces a kid too. n now i'm still a kid. hahas n i love to spent christmas wif ppl tat i love. tis yr i shell spent it wif my dept. coz i love love them ^^ hahas~

gtg for work le. a heart for a heart.
Loved~

<<<=WorkIng HarD To Soar=>>>

12:30 PM

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

It hasnt been a good week ends nor a good public holidae. no. not at all. I almost got killed by the overwhelming numbers of clients i get per dae and better still working double straight for 2 daes. hump~ for such a pack of old bones like mi. darn. n tis morning wasnt better at all. didnt noe how i did it but it seem like i m seeing more n more fire btw my mummi n louis loo. hump~ wars coming on and tat will be world war hundred and ten? 

i hav no idea why are we getting more n more clients but it realli shows us tat if a shift there ish onli 3 nurses we are going to work till we are dead. n if tat loo ish on tat will be worst. my nightmare. I dun realli hate him or wad. but maybe not the way he did tings. he will kill mi soon. darn i will nv admit defeat infront of such a person. Wad can i do? arrrh tat's make mi more irritated by the way he treat us. And right infront of the patient he ish trying to get us get some complaint letter due to not severing them STAT ( straight away) hello~ how on earth are we going to do tat if he keep ordering so many rubbish to be done for one clients to another. weather a not they nid it. MBSS u should noe it better than us dun u. n to tink abt it. who runs the blood testes. NOT MI NOT YOU le. ish the lab. wad can i do if the lab says it takes 1 - 2 hrs. STOP BLAMING the nurses and stop telling patient things tat u dun noe. FBC DUN TAKE 30 mins. IT TAKES 1.5 HRS TO RUN. making patient keep coming to the counter and ask. than they said but the doc said. n so we should reply tis way. o the doctor dunnoe ani tin coz ish the lab tat ish running it. wad he said cannot be trusted. I felt so ~ ARHZ~ why cant nurses and doctor juz work in peace? why do u hav to do tings till like tat. Other doc has no problem. ONLI U FREAK~ BUMPZ~

aiz aiz. numbers of clients for tis 4 daes was over 150 everi dae. and so we miss tea n hav late lunch or juz drink n out. at times miss dinner and even OUR TOILET. soon we will be down wif kidney problem or urinary track infection. aiz aiz. wad can i do? finally i m having my off dae tml. but nid to use it well to go settle my citizen ship problem and also going bk to MAH to help keep store room. i should apply for a room in my dept so i can juz stay over night. =) MAH citizenship. hahas. crapz =.=

life ish stressful but we still hav to live on whether u like it or not. it still hav to go on. Wish all well. Pls pray for lisa father. May he rest in peace n bless his family. *Hugs* to ppl tat need it. And to ppl tat recieve it. It does make ppl feel better. thanks May thanks ellainne for the hug. I needed it n i believe u too. =) harn will smile coz harn got u all as my colleagues. no matter wad i will stay strong through out. we still got xmas war to fight, than chinese new year soon. Jia you ar~ *\(o_0)/*


<<<=WorkIng HarD To Soar=>>>

9:53 PM

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That's my name.(^_^)V