Thursday, May 28, 2009
wad do u realli wan in life?
I asked. yet i doubt my self.
I dunnoe wad i wan in life ani more. I dunnoe which way i should take. I dunnoe if i will make the correct decision. there is 2 road i would like to take but i will onli be able to choose one.
1. I wan to explore. i wan to gain more experience. I wan to move on. but i dun like going into a new place. I dun wanna leave the ppl i noe and start all over again.
2. I wan to stay and work wif ppl i like. Juz have a comfort zone. Than find a guy who can support mi and marry. Some one who can support mi. Than i wont nid to climb juz stay as wad i m now.
I'm lost. i wan to fight yet i dunnoe wad i'm fighting for. cried. alone. lonely. wad should i do?
<<<=WorkIng HarD To Soar=>>>
1:24 AM
1:24 AM
Monday, May 25, 2009
been since a long time i actualli update my blog.
Time flew agan. so fast ish already coming to june. sch holidae starting soon.
My anual leave started already. That ish the 2nd week already. tis leave, i'm still working as a PSA due to we are terribly short of staff. Each of them had to work 7 ot tis month. hopefully we will soon get a new staff. Life hasnt been easi at all. tired and stress up. Cried but wad we has to let go we cant hold back. I've tried my best so let it been. soon it will pass and a new one has come. Holding bk would help mi at all. so let look forward for a better one tis time round.
Todae while listening to my ipod, my mind started to tink about my feeling towards him. Didnt tink that it could be tat. I didnt noe i've already... it seems to be getting better. dae by dae. now i realli understand the full meaning of misses him. Seem like putting in more effort. i can understand the fear in mi but i wish we would be tgt for the rest of my life. i like being tgt wif him. he made mi luff, make mi cry, make mi worri, make mi angry and make mi jealous at times too. Jus i nv told him tat before. he's hard work i can see but at time yet i feels that he ish not putting in enough. I noe ish not easi and the more i should be understanding. That why i'm always supportive. Some time even keep my own sadness so as not to let him worri too much. There's nth much i can do for him but to let him fight himself.
He always tinks that he ish not good enuf. But to mi, he ish realli wonderful.He ish great. I dun tink i will be able to find another guy who will be able to take my nonsense at all. I noe i'm not tat good, at time even do stupid tings but yet he nv complaint at all. When i'm not in a mood or angry he will always be the one tat go soft on mi. but always stern when he wants mi to carry out some tin that ish good for mi. I like spenting time wif him. simply adore him. His nv gib up attitude is wonderful. Thru so mani happening and tings. He nv gib up on mi before. despite mi keep pouring ice. I hereby gib u a chance to take care of mi. Will be a good girlfren. Thanks dear ^^ hugs.
i'm tired le. ywan, i should go bed le good nite. sweet drem.
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10:34 PM
10:34 PM
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Seeing him troubled wif his own work place problem,
i didnt told him wad i m going to face soon.
The fact that i'm also not having a good time juz didnt surface out from my words. I cant bear to gib him my pain. Or to share my pain wif him to add more pain to him. I cried. My heart ish aching. feel like telling him to gib up. But if i do so, will he feel better? Telling him dun try ani more. Juz let go n giv up. I felt pain when i see u struggling to get better at ur work. I noe it ish hard but than i dunnoe wad u wan mi to do. I guess u would like mi to support you.
didnt sleep much, even when i m asleep. Ny mind are awake. Dreams floated in n out. 4 hrs plus of sleep n i gib up sleeping. There will be one dae, u will see my floating like a zombie. but still i will be fine. I'll take care of myself.
nx week is juz a head, my dead line is nearing soon. I seriously should sit down n gib myself a good thots. Whether to move on or to contiune. My eyes are painful n i didnt noe wad to do.
God was busy ytd. tat's wad i told lisa. N he will be having a Day off todae. Than mondae blue was wad lisa added on. So tis few daes he wont be free. Still i pray. God pls look after all the ppl that i love. a long list of them. they are all in my heart God bless them.
Hugs all for the support tat u all haven given mi. Thanks amber for everi tin.hugs.
<<<=WorkIng HarD To Soar=>>>
7:03 AM
7:03 AM
