Saturday, February 28, 2009
Welcome bk to life.
Been since a long time i actualli on my imac. Due to I dun have a key board to actualli switch on my mac mac. now finally i bought a new key board back. ^^ i'm loving it. Realli sweet. Cost mi $78 to get tis sweetie bk home. Juz becoz i wanted to clean it. Ended up killing it. Darn. O well. So here ish the new one. =( although it ish realli expensive but still i hav to buy it right. I cant leave tis mac die on. =( poor tin. poor mi hahas. Ani way' i realli happi to hav it bk.
I noe bie will be going thru a veri tough time. So i will try to gib all the support to him whenever i can. Jia you le. My off dae finished le. Tml going bk to work. Hopefully everi tin will be fine.
Got the LSCN le. Super happi. O dear my BCLS ish expiring this year. Seem like i hav to use my off dae and one public holidae to go for the course le. Tink maybe should use my AL to go for it. Humm. Good idea. Should see the date n tell sister about it than. See how it goes bah. Shell go n ask ask my educator. Humm. mid nite le. so tired. tsk. work hard le.
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11:56 PM
11:56 PM
Friday, February 27, 2009
tick-tock tick-tock
The clock ticking above, showing mi ish already pass my dream land entry timing.
The nx dae had already began without ani notice.
I'm tired, both emotinally and mentally and i guess physically ish coming in too.
I cant see was ish going to happen. Wad ish infront of mi. Badly want to noe how tings will go.
Muscle ache ish coming on. Old le. cant help it. Body ache due to not enuf sleep or bad mattress. I dunnoe. Wad's going in my mind. ya i noe ZzzZzzz seems like surounding mi. Still nid to wake up at 6.30 tml morning. No ish todae morning.
I didnt noe i'm such a weakling in taking stress. Or fighting the stress monster. i fail. I have been on the verge of breaking down. Yes to tat entend of fighting my self. hahas. interesting. Seems like life ish juz pushing mi more n more to the edge of life. The rim of the board. any moment into the sea feeding the cocodile. Juz like peter pan story. Or at the top of all the building, one more step to the bottom i lay flat crushing some ants underneath and coloring the floor wif wad u call a passionate color.ZI better find a way to overcome all tis if not. IMH ish juz welcoming mi wif open hand. Going CRAZY ani moment. Depression and more. I cant take it ani more. Or can i ? I wonder. should i test myself to the limit? or should i? humm.
Got to sleep now. Nitez. Dun worri. I will juz do wad they wan mi to do. I hear voices~ open ur heart. O ya i'm on ear piece wif westlife sing to mi. Chey. Nitez =)
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2:21 AM
2:21 AM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Totally like shit!
The whole dae at work nth seems to be right at all.
wad a great dea!
LIKE SHIT.
work stress, study stress.
told pajit. Soon he will visit mi in IMH de le.
Soon booking a bed.
Wonderful~
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10:36 PM
10:36 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
*stare*
blankly across the room.
How white the wall looks. Good ish clean.
*stare*
blankly over the celling
How bright the light ish. Good dad paid electricity bill on time.
Totally blank. and ish much more relaxing tis way. i some how feel good tis way. Some times staring blankly help relax the mind. and ur soul. tml ish 23/2/09 ish actualli the due date but my tings ish not done to even 1/2 GREAT! tsk wad can i said ish nt easi.
Arh busy~ time ish some tin i dun hav. How come? where did all my time goes to. Tsk tsk. Shell sleep eaarlier. tml still got a long dae to go. Having body ache all over. Never had such before. dame, OLD LE. Shit.
Happi 10 mth old le. I always celebrate my birthdae everi mth once. hahas. -.- okay shouldnt cold here le.
Thanks Ireen for the chicken pie she bought for mi. So shy. Thank you thank you. Nites all le. =)
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11:26 PM
11:26 PM
Friday, February 20, 2009
It has been since a long time i make such a mistake.
I realli didnt noe how to face mummi when i go to work todae.
How i wish i can juz dig a hole n hide my face but a mistake ish a mistake. I cant run from it. I can onli accept it and learn from it. Of all dae, why isst todae. T.T
Earli in the morning some one told mi a bad news. makes my heart drop down to the drain that i walked pass. The feeling was, super painful. I felt so unless, felt so hopeless and felt like the whole world ish ending on mi. I realli dunnoe how i should face the news tat was told to mi. But apart from keeping quiet and dying alone i cant do ani tin else. Plus i onli noe part of the news not the full version of it. SHIT. How i wish i noe more. But i guess some tin ish better not to noe too much. The more u noe, Might cause u more harm. emotionally hurt. =(
Not long after tat, my phone rang. yep, i same how recieved the call. Mummi called mi. And started asking mi abt some client check up. SHIT. I suddenly relised that i did the wrong tin. ish not juz a small mistake of missing out testes or wad. But the whole check up was wrong. A veri wrong mistake, Wrong package. sharks. Tat's it, My life ended~ felling down more than jus drain. Now CLIFF. if i could realli fell, i will. I reallli will. TSK.
afternoon went to work. My heart felt like stones stacking on it. tons n tons of it. I cant forgib myself of such big mistake. Mummi was already having headache trying to help mi solve my mistake. Shawn shawn, mummi and mi sat down and see wad we can do abt it. Sister already knew abt it. hav to, ish not a small shrimp. Than she went for meeting after tat mummi and shawn told her wad they hav think abt, the solution. I didnt hear much abt it as i am doing my work. In the end, i still not clear abt the solution but i noe. Sister wants mi to write a "love" letter to her. Although she didnt scold mi at all. Still i felt bad. there ish no excuess that even though i nv seen or done tat checkup before i should know tat we hav such checkups. My fault. Although the amt ish large but, i'm willing to bear the price.
Prem prem was nice, he asked mi do i nid ani help. And if i do, Juz let him noe. as it ish not a small amt. Thanks alot. to all of u. trying to figure out which ish the best way to help mi solve the problem and also try to make mi pay lesser. i noe tat they care for mi. Thank you! sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. Love~
One incident can make u see who ish ur fren. One mistake can make u understand how they care for u. i blessed to hav them and thanks sister for not scolding mi. But juz tell mi dun make the mistake agn. Thanks Dr Choo from saying nice words to sister abt mi. hahas. Tat's wad he claim. Thanks Dr Ho for being so cute and letting mi forget my worries for awhle.
Xiao yuan last dae todae. wish her all the best and jia you in her exam. she ish CUTE and SWEET.~ >.< I juz cant get enuf of her. hahas. Better finish up and sleep soon. Tml still have to work. Tsk.
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11:10 PM
11:10 PM
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Been since a long time i realli sit down and write my blog.
Always write it in rush and didnt hav much time to realli write out my feeling.
Listening to song. My heart skipping to the beat. the feeling ish realli great.
Tis song, ish a fast n lifely one. Nice sweet. =)
Trying to learn the song. hahas.
Going for a 2 dae straight off. My mind juz circling thru wad i should be focusing on. But yet i dun hav the energy to do so. Ish realli hard, Essay juz not getting ani where. Better still, i should already noe whether m i in the right track but due to my stupiness, i forgot to attach file when senting my leacturer to check my introduction. Lucky when i sent it for lisa, i didnt forget. Tsk hav to wait for her reply. Took her 2 whole deas to see our essay, now i hav to wait another 2 more daes. But i guess i wont be waiting to see m i in the right track le. I shell juz go on. If i wan to die, I guess i'll choose a way to die a memorial way. at least i wont be forgotten by ppl. But i never believe that coz, Time will wipe away ur memories.
Dun believe? Try it out, Tink- when was the first time u ever cry and know that tis ish tears and only sadness will make u hav such reaction? I noe, u are telling mi i'm talking rubbish agn. hahas. Coz happines make ppl shear tears too. tsk tsk. -.- okay cut the crab out.
work was- OookAaaay. Tis few daes weather wasnt good at all. Been having thunder storm there. And hot like hell. Ani moment , if u are not careful, u might step on to the bome that ish buried on the SURFACE. U can see them. Juz u dunnoe how to avoid. Tsk tsk. Bless prem prem. Apart from that. work life seems fun wif mummi. No mummi no fun. apart from tat everi one seems like dangerous to mi. Aniway didnt hav much time to work extra ani more. Sad sad. Tat's the end of my locum world. tata T.T Sister told mi i look freash tis morning and said i mus hav slept well last night. Than roger asked mi wad happen to mi, hav i not been sleeping well. hahas. Intresting. I hav been sleeping at 1 am and waking up at 6 am. on mondae and best for todae i slept at 1 am and woke up 5 plus in the morning suddenly. Wad ish tat -.- 5 in the morning. Knowing tat u can sleep for another few more mins. o well. cant be help. I guess i should sleep earlier tonight and wake up earli in the morning ito do my tings. agreed, ^^V
Apart from tat, let see wad elsa to talk abt in my daes. no idea. Brain ish totally in a mess. wish not to talk to ani one. Tis few daes love to stare at a corner and than tat's it. soul gone mind gone. hahas. dunnoe duncare wad ish happening around mi. Juz let them take place and settle down. as long as i'm not the one effected directly, i guess i will be fine. I onli a human, some times i make mistake. yes. I do make mistake. But please, i'll learn from my mistake. now i realli feel like sleeping. o onli going 9 pm. let see. 8 hrs later will be 5 am in the morning. should i wake up at tat time? humm. good question. despite how much i dislike sleeping wif my hair all wet, i tink i shell. move to my bed. Dun hav the concentration to do ani tin. Nite everi one. Love- loved. Hugs. (>.<) nite nite (-.-)ZzzZZzz
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8:26 PM
8:26 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Happi. Realli happi for her.
Passed by her blog. N saw her post.
I feel veri veri veri happi for her, Finalli after so much so many daes n months and lot alot of gib n take. Finalli sometin happi happened to her.
Although some might tink tat it's juz a simple doll and flower. Although ish not big and expensive nor ani veri veri special tin. Still ish a veri simple blessing. some tin tat she has been realli looking forward for. I felt realli happi for her. No disappiontment. But a suprise. ^^ i'm happi, more happi for u than for myself. Mummi dun said i didnt care abt u. Juz u might not noe tat i'm always keeping and trying to keep myself update on wad's going around u. But juz i'm so caught up wif my work and study tat i didnt hav much personal timing too. tsk tsk. So sorri. I wish tat u enjoyed ur trip to Genting. ^^ Love u. I still do care abt u ^^.
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9:27 PM
9:27 PM
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A veri happi valentine dae to everi one of u. Be it u hav or without a valentine, still i wish all of u to find ur true love and to be with the one u love. It can be ur friends, ur family or even ur work places ppl. Like how i spent my dae todae.
Todae was super happi. Maybe becoz of the ppl i'm working wif todae. Bought cakes over for them. ^^ and i didnt noe tat everi one was in aa light mood. ^^ good good. So i enjoyed my dae todae. Was complaining to my sis for the pass few daes, I will be spenting another flowerless valentine dae agn. last yr too spented a flowerless dae. To my shocking, aunty doris bought yellow rose for everi one. I was so happi. hahas. actualli dun ask mi why m i so happi. But i juz like flower. Like to the extand not to mus hav in all present but still i like flowers.
Although ish not my fav flower or color of rose. But still yellow ish nice. ^^ still the tots of giving the flower and the love felt ish good. I guess tat ish my one and onli val dae present. if u wan to count tat one chocolate tat shawn was giving out to everi one well than tat make it 2.^^ and mummi routine "milk" feed. Strawberry milk tea. Felt so love-ed, mummi was late becoz of my "milk" feed. thank you veri much. I finish it ^^.
Sch was hell. Lisa was telling mi ytd tat she wan to stop schooling le. But there ish no refund of money that was paid. so ish not worth at all. so she ask mi better to sent my essay for checking. so sent my life to hell. a/w for reply. So now no heart at all for essay but i hope can finish by wed. So work harder. JIA YOU JIA YOU le.
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10:46 PM
10:46 PM
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Tiredness has over run mi.Cant seems to fight back the shadow of darkness that seems to fall upon mi. I mean my eyes lids are too heavy for mi to open up my eyes to see the beautiful dawn that i see everi dae when i work morning shift. Juz not for todae.
Premjit called @ 0832hrs. Woke mi up at when my phone started to play the melody. And then he goes. blah blah blah.... which i still cant get what he ish saying as i was still half asleep. Than i heard a loud voice from the background "Dun forces Urself if u nid to rest" hahas. That mus be lisa voice. Rejected premjit offers of working tis afternoon as someone ish on MC. Dare i'm realli too tired. I admit it. But i'm not defeated by it. Hahas. Bie said before, Rest ish to walk a longer road. It has got nth to do with giving up.
Essay still not coming through. I'm still stuck in the introduction and dunnoe how to go on. ish rather hard. Shati seems like keep on telling mi that handwashing ish not a good topic at all.But i hav done so much research and spent so much time on it. i realli dun wanna waste it. So even die i will stick to the topic. Juz nid more help and understanding i guess. Arhz.
O ya tat melody that i attached on the top ish call (RIVER FLOWS IN YOU) I find tat the melody flows like the memories that all of us had. Of coz u got ur version i got mine la. But a smooth sail, clam peaceful yet sorrow. There's a sense of sadness when i listen to it. The memories the happi the sad it all comes to an end. Wishing you all the best in future. Great music. Love it.
Harn nids hugs. Tis few daes seem like veri cold. I hav been on jacket at night. wif the thickness of my blanket still i'm wearing jacket. My family members, note ish memberS, have juz recover from cold. One after another, taking priton like sweet. Dam, and taking mi as doctor. Darn. kies la. I nid to study agn le.
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9:01 AM
9:01 AM
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Every time after finishing class....
I feel like i'm lost in the total darkness. It makes mi think whether am i going in the right direction. But than even if i m going in a wrong direction i wont be able to turn back any more. Now all i hav to do ish get the other facts or points right. I had already get it started there ish no way m i going to waste all my research and start on ani other topic which i have no idea about.
Cant believe it, I'm actually feel tired. This few days seem like getting more n more tired. Didn't ever think that i actually fell asleep while using msn, this had never happen to me before. Darn, this really shows how tired i m. But i'm still not giving up locum slots. Lisa had verbalised to me that she feels really tired and that she has already given up her locum slot on Friday. Ish just too bad tat i am working morning shift that day. If not i might have take tat slot too. Cant help it, although ish tiring to juggle work and study, still i need to work extra hard for better pay. Need the money for study.
Didn't know i can still take that blow of words from her. Ever since tat day, we had been in cold term. Not like before, maybe to other people i still play still talk. But when it come to her, i just ask or talk whatever tat ish related to work and nothing else. I dun wish to talk too much, still i greet her, still i call her, still i will care about her. But not as much as before any more. I dun wan to irritates her. And no more than that. I still need to work with her, i can't choose who my team member ish, so i just do my part. That's all. Life ish tough trying to do tis n tat.
When nothing goes the way you wants it to be, You just have to change your direction to suit the way things are going. Make life easier and more simple. For me, i just want to have a quiet life. A simple and quiet life. Mum told mi, i'm a boring person Who doesnt have much dreams or wishes. Who doesnt fight with other ppl. The onli thing i m good at ish, stay stubborn. That ish the only point tat keeps me going and keeping my stay alive and moving forward in my life. tsk tsk.
Tired already, Harn going sleep le. Nitez all. sweet dream. *Hugs*
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12:30 AM
12:30 AM
